Saturday, November 1, 2008

Should girls have sex with their bfs?

What do you think about it?

At this age (20 something), is it OK to have sexual relationship already with our lovers?

Does giving our bodies up to our guys help to keep him by your side, or instead it makes him get bored faster and leaves sooner?

One friend of mine, A, thinks that nothing is forbidden when your feelings are turned on. Everyone, man or woman, in this world has desire; it's a very normal thing to come to sex when you're in relationship - isn't it too kesian that even your guy don't feel desire for YOU?

A is open-minded with this - she thinks it's perfectly OK to have sex if both parties feel the desire, the drive, the rush of adrenaline to feel each other's body. It's not about the guy is your future husband or what - you love him at that time, and that's all is required.

And then there's a girl friend B, who is skeptical about sex, hates, scared of, disgusted with anything about sex, the total Ms. Pure - but that was before she has the boyfriend now. It shocked the gang of friends we're in, when she told us that she has lost her virginity to her boyfriend.

And thenB is still a bit awkward with sex, but she's feeling more and more "selamba" with the issue having sexual relationship with her lover. Though she also decided prior already that this boyfriend would certainly be her future husband - so that's the reason she can accept pre-marrital sex. And I've seen her with her bf - they communicate like husband and wife alraedy. With no doubt her bf is certain about marrying B also.

Ok, so there's enough said from girl part. We shall listen to what guys would have to say instead.

A guy friend, C, has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for the longest time. Years he'd been in relationship with the same girl. And his girl is hot no doubt! (I saw her:P) But it shocked us too, when he honestly told the gang of friends we're in that he had never got to sex with his gf. So, WHY?! For desire, is a normal thing for mammal like us what.

So he said : "Yeah we'd a lot of times nearly got to that, but I stopped myself."

Again, another WHY?!

"Because I really love her, and I really sayang her."

And it suddenly struck me at the time he said that. When a guy is really seriously in love with a girl, he would consider MORE than ever. If a guy truly loves, he would also be truly responsibled. If a guy truly loves, he would also truly considers everything.

When he doesn't think for your future together, he's not seriously in love.

There's another guy friend, D, who just mentioned the same thing to me. D had been in relationship for a long time too, and he's serious with it that he hopes he can marry with this girl in the future. And also, in shock, he said he never got to sex with his gf either. Everything can wait, when a guy truly loves a girl and wants to be with her forever and ever.

D said : "I think that if a girl have sex with her bf, it'll only make the bf leaves her sooner.

"Guys are fast to get bored."

OH, so that's the case?! And D said it was his opinion after knowing some stories of others himself. When a guy has got all from a girl (include the sex), then he'll lose his interest in the girl very soon. Mysteries, unexplored, is what keeps us hooked, isn't it?

So that's opinions from 2 girl friends, and 2 guy friends.

Strangely, through what I've gathered in conversations with friends, guys and girls, I find that girls are actually more open with sex in relationships, than are guys. o.O

Girls mostly, and basically consider with heart -the feelings; Sex can go, if the feeling is right. But guys, when they're serious about the relationship (Yeah, SERIOUS, cannot be emphasized enough), they consider the sex issue with brain - the rationality; Sex can only go when he thinks he has the sufficient ability to make his girl happy and loved, not only 5 minutes now, but also 50 years in the future.

And then we come back to the question again........Should girls have sex with their bfs?

Does having sex with bfs keeps them longer or chases them away faster?

For me, I guess it's a matter of different people. But girls, we all have to learn to protect our bodies! Please spot the bad guys before they enter you. (Again i cant emphasize enough the importance.)

However, when a guy really loves you, my girl, you're sooooo lucky. Blessings to everyone i know! :)


Follow-up : Pregnant, at 21.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Still.... I love to read your blog in English...more than ever.
Maybe it's because your wordings in Chinese blog is so.... in-depth till I don't mind about the meaning, but just enjoy how it sounds in that beautiful melody.
Yea... English still fits me the most...

I've read a book, from western discussing about sexes. Pre-marital sex, underage sex and a lot more... from the diseases it could bring until the mental disturbance that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
It's a nice book... from western's point of view, expert still don't agree to have pre-marital sex. The reason mainly is because you still won't forget your pre-marital sex even after you married. A witness said
"Every night I spent with my wife, we're not just 2, but 3."

Among A, B, C, D... I think I know 3 of them right?
And to break something written inside... although sex remains uncrossed, boredom will still arrive.
That's me.... I'll tell your further when we go yamcha... miss the moments spent with you all.

*sorry, for not posting in your blog for such a long time :-(

Erica Chin said...

hey jcx you're here! :D

Diseases ah....yea lo, but does pre-marital sex brings to more cases of diseases than post-marital sex?!...i think it's more about the age la....20 something is not TOO young la....30 something might be TOO old btw ><

lol...yea only D u dunno..lolz...

And, yeah, i get what you mean with that..."boredom will still arrive"...hmm right, talk wif u next time~

And thanks again for dropping by, u're da best, muakz~.haha

Anonymous said...

hey ..... very interesthing topic to write about.....
well i think the guys were rite.....
gals out there.... keep them waiting.... never give up ur virginity so easily...
u might be taken for granted... if the guy really loves u.... no matter how long he will surely wait.... even if its a decade.... hehehe...
oh yeah ...u should also have asked some of them who have 'one night stand' reguraly what they think about sex...
i wonder how they can have sex with someone that they don't love???????? maybe its juz the driving of their hormones.....
well to make it simply... i think better don't lose ur virginity that fast.... the thrill of making someone wait is juz an imcomparable pleaure....

Erica Chin said...

hello sayang sham ~

yeah, would've asked if i got the opportunity to know anyone who one-night-stands regularly. @.@

Btw i think more guys would be involved in one night stands than girls la, you think?

And, right, save the best for last! lolz. The thrill eh?...:P

You don't lose it before you get married! haha

divinity said...

[Btw i think more guys would be involved in one night stands than girls la, you think?]

In that statement, I have something that I"m not that sure

If 1 guy VS 5 girls. How could it show more guys involve in one night stands than girls? should be girls have more one night stands instead.

If 5 guys VS 1 girls. It means more guys have one night stand than girls?

Anyway, actually it is about the same numbers for guys and girls as sex needs two party...

Erica Chin said...

divinity:

haha...yea yea...i guess you're right then...

But maybe it's always the same girls, but it's always different guys le?

:P

But anyway, thanks for dropping by ;)