Victory, or destroyed by war.

It's a harsh cold world out there at the front line.

Being thrown, pushed, crushed, defeated, devastated, depressed. And still the next morning you have to wake up and survive the next battle.

Though till then, all the battles fought were only minor scratches of the whole cruel world.

But the failures in fighting these minor wars were already able to smash the young spirit into shatters and pieces.

Life isn't hard, everyone else is doing the same, and even more difficult jobs than you are; But life's still overwhelming, while you can't even win the weakest monsters when others are already slashing throats of huge demons.

Like a loser gamer in Diablo II, stuck at the ground level and could never break through to the next.

I am baffled in newsdesk. But I'm still surviving, at least able to breathe.

Though the worst part of it hasn't even come yet.

Watching people battling one of the worst demons I feel belittled. I know if it were me, I couldn't handle it.

Relieved and angry at the same time.

Relieved since I know that demon is out of the limit of my capability to handle; Angry because I know I couldn't handle this if it were me while others can excel it.

Even though the hands are trembling when weapons are set out; even though the shoulders are shaking when armour lies in front; even though the tongue is tied dumb when horn is handed - there is no turning back for a soldier on the red line.

In the end it's only sieg or vom krieg zerstört.

All we can hope is a ride on four horses over the Siegestor when the curtain draws.

"Dem Sieg geweiht, vom Krieg zerstört, zum Frieden mahnend" - inscription on back side of The Siegestor (Victory Gate) in Munich by Wilhelm Hausenstein.

"Dedicated to victory, destroyed by war, reminding of peace".