And I still need a friend.

What are friends to you?

Some say friends are those who help you through hard times; some say friends are those who you share your happiness and sorrows with; and some say friends are those who make us who we are.

Image from Dreamstime.com

Some people say friends come and go, some people say good friends worth the effort to stay connect.

Some people say friends aren't forever, some people say friends stay forever because we want to.

Some people say friends won't completely understand us, some people say friends are only true when you understand and let understood.

Some people say friends who let go should be let gone, some people say friends drifted apart because they are both fear of saying "I miss you, please come back".

Image from Myspace

Some people say friends are nothing but a shadow, some people say friends are only for those who know how to open the heart.

Some people say they don't need friends, some people say that's a lie, because we all need friends.

And yes I do agree, all of us need friends. Be it a friend who stays nearby, a net friend, a penpal, or even an imaginary friend.

We make friends to share, to understand, and to make us who we are.

Image from lizaklimenko.wordpress.com

Lastly, a lovely song for you to listen here. Long lost penpal, by Hello Saferide.





Long lost penpal
by Hello Saferide

Hello
Do you remember me
I am your long lost pen pal
It must have been ten years ago we last wrote
I don't really know what happened
I guess life came in the way
Let me know if you're still alive
Let me know if you ever used that knife or not

Hello
Yes I remember you
I've got a husband and two children now
I work as an accountant and make fairly good money
I still have your letters, you used a pink pen to write them
And you would comfort me
when my tears would stain the ink
And I would send you mix tapes with Kate Bush on

I have to admit I sometimes lied in those letters
Tried to make life better than it was
I still wasn't kissed at sixteen
And I still need a friend

There was this letter
I never told you this back then
But it would be fair to say it saved my life
I sat in the window
The only one left out from a party again
Pretty sure I didn't have a single friend
Then I checked the mailbox

Dear long lost penpal
I was lying the whole time
I'm really a 46 years old man named Luke
I have three children
and a wife, she doesn't care
And I hope you don't resent me
And I hope you do not hate me
For trying to find my way back to what it's like to be young

I have to admit I sometimes lied in those letters
Tried to make life better than it was
I still wasn't kissed at sixteen
And I still need a friend


And some of the times, we need friends to make life better than it was.

Image from commentsguru.com

Things that inspire

One interesting thing about commercial ads is that sometimes it inspires. Like watching a meaningful movie, or listening an emotional song; the heart aches, then it warms up; a surge of life in your veins.

It's not hard to survive in this modern days. But perhaps, most of us have problems seeing through; knowing how to live.

And that's the reason some movies, some songs, some ads, could touch a cord in you; as if you've been asleep for all this while, waiting for that one sentence, to wake you up to life.

To cut long story short - I went for a movie night out with my friends last night (Public Enemy, great!), and there was this Chivalry commercial before the movie started. It was as if the narrator was talking to me - a life-inspiring message.

The Movement, Live with Chivalry, Chivas


Transcript:

Millions of people. Everyone out for themselves. Can this really be the only way? No.
Here's to honor. and to gallantry, long may it live.
Here's to doing the right thing. To giving a damn.
Here's to the straight-talkers, who give their word, and keep it.
Here's to freedom, wherever you find it, and to knowing the true meaning of wealth.
Here's to the brave among us.
Here's to a code of behavior that sets certain men apart from all others.
Here's to us. Live with Chivalry.

On another note, the background music used in this commercial is a masterpiece. Can't resist to not share it with you. I love how the music flies from one point.




To Build A Home - Cinematic Orchestra

There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills...
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust..
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home.......


Cause, I built a home
for you
for me

Until it disappeared
from me
from you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust........


Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it's knees

By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me......


Cause, I built a home
for you
for me

Until it disappeared
from me
from you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust........

Victory, or destroyed by war.

It's a harsh cold world out there at the front line.

Being thrown, pushed, crushed, defeated, devastated, depressed. And still the next morning you have to wake up and survive the next battle.

Though till then, all the battles fought were only minor scratches of the whole cruel world.

But the failures in fighting these minor wars were already able to smash the young spirit into shatters and pieces.

Life isn't hard, everyone else is doing the same, and even more difficult jobs than you are; But life's still overwhelming, while you can't even win the weakest monsters when others are already slashing throats of huge demons.

Like a loser gamer in Diablo II, stuck at the ground level and could never break through to the next.

I am baffled in newsdesk. But I'm still surviving, at least able to breathe.

Though the worst part of it hasn't even come yet.

Watching people battling one of the worst demons I feel belittled. I know if it were me, I couldn't handle it.

Relieved and angry at the same time.

Relieved since I know that demon is out of the limit of my capability to handle; Angry because I know I couldn't handle this if it were me while others can excel it.

Even though the hands are trembling when weapons are set out; even though the shoulders are shaking when armour lies in front; even though the tongue is tied dumb when horn is handed - there is no turning back for a soldier on the red line.

In the end it's only sieg or vom krieg zerstört.

All we can hope is a ride on four horses over the Siegestor when the curtain draws.

"Dem Sieg geweiht, vom Krieg zerstört, zum Frieden mahnend" - inscription on back side of The Siegestor (Victory Gate) in Munich by Wilhelm Hausenstein.

"Dedicated to victory, destroyed by war, reminding of peace".

2009, I resolve to be a better girl.

It's a whole new year starting today! 1st of January, don't we all love it? :)

I know it's been soooo long I hadn't updated my blog here. What I'd done in the end of year 2008? I had gone to Singapore from 24 to 27 of December, celebrating Christmas in the crowded modern Asian city. The theme this year was "A Sweet Christmas in Singapore", so lamp posts along Orchard Road were decorated into candy canes. They were so cute!

I'll post the photos up once I got them from my friends. ^^

We all make new year resolutions when a new year comes. Even though we could not quite make them in some of the years, but it was still an exciting ritual to do, embracing the coming new fresh year. And that's what I'm going to do, too! :P

First of all, I want to perform well in my internship starting 5th of January! As you would have read it some posts ago, I am going to do my internship for three months in The Sun Daily. Yes, the Nation's free newspapers which is Telling it as it is. The Sun newspapers is considered to be one of the most neutral newspapers in Malaysia, providing high quality news. I still do not know which department would I be in, but whichever it is, I want to do well, or at least fine!

Secondly, I want to have more self-confidence. You would never look good without a pint of confidence threw on yourself. You would never be capable without a layer of confidence glowing on you. You would never make your point clear without a little more confidence. I want to have more confidence in being myself, admit the wrongs, praise the good, point out the unfair and feel good about myself.

Thirdly, I want to be better in bass. And get really good in jamming. And make it to somewhere this year, if possible.

Next I want to further expand my circles of friends and go to more places I've never visited. I want to see more and know more still.

Also I resolve to be more considerate, and reasonable when talking to people. I'll think before I hurt someone with my words, and I'll state my point clear when someone tries to take advantage of me. That's very important. :)

Last but not least, I resolve to live healthier than last year. I'll yum cha not more than five nights a week; I'll sleep at 1 a.m. the latest on nights I didn't have assignments or yum chas; I'll do more walking to buy nutritious groceries; I'll shop really less, only for important things; and I'll be less emotional.

I guess my every list ends with a seven. So here's my big important seventh point : Life's short, do it if you want to know how it would be, and don't regret. I know it's a bit cliche, but I would end the post with my favourite quote from the movie Transformers :

"Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car? " - Sam Witwicky

Happy New Year!

Seven Ways to De-emo

Emo. It's the kind of feeling you feel when you sit down alone finally after a crazy party is over. It's the kind of feeling you feel when you thought of a meaningful memory when it rains. It's the kind of feeling you feel when you just got hurt by a friend's insensitive words, but you find no way to express your feelings.

Almost all of us dislike feeling emo. It draws us down, it makes us vulnerable, it makes us feeling lonely.

To lead a positive life, we would have to think of ways to cope with emo. And it differs between people and people in their ways of over-coming emo.

As a person who emo quite frequently, I have discovered seven ways to help me out of emo through all these years of in-and-out-of-emo experience.


1. Watch informative documentaries

Surprisingly, watching TV programmes such as National Geographic, Discovery Channel, and History Channel put me at ease easily. Whether it's the awe of new technology or the surprising fact about history, or even the firm voice of the narrator in most documentaries, documentaries have always been successful in drawing me out of the black hole of emo-ness.



2. Watch humourous movies/dramas

This works just as amazing as documentaries on me, but it's just that it's a little harder to get access to movies and dramas I want to watch than documentaries sometimes. Though, watching a light-hearted movie such as Bridget Jones' Diary, 101 Dalmatians, and Madagascar, I feel better having a laugh. And of course, some black humour in dramas such as Desperate Housewives or Gossip Girl entertains as well too.



3. Blog

Sometimes I get so emo that I couldn't even drag myself to be couch potato, so I stay in front of the cold hard monitor and start typing out my feelings into my poor grey blog. It feels a lot better after you get to pour your feelings out. Even though it's just writing out your feelings for no one to read.

But anyway, blogs are great because of its ambiguity - you write things there because you don't want to make your friends worried by telling them, but by posting in blogs, your friends have possibilities of finding out and might just come and console you some time later. However, regardless of the motive of blogging, it's really one of the great ways to de-emo.



4. Try out something new within the interested areas

For instant, I try out new ways of playing a certain bass line, or experiment on writing lines on my own with my bass. And I think by plotting out a whole new kind of story in my mind also helps to de-emo. These kind of things excites, thus the mind would go more positive relatively.


5. Sleep

One of the effective ways for me to overcome emo is to sleep, if my mind isn't too restless. It seems that with enough sleep, people could feel happier. I probably have the emo cycle frequently due to my sleep-deprived lifestyle. Feeling emo is one of the ways my body is telling me it needs rest probably. :P



6. Get out of the house with friends


This solution could be the best and also the worst of all. Sometimes by getting out, my mind is allowed to sway into other fun stuffs with friends. But sometimes getting out in a state of mind that is emo, friends not only didn't make me feel better, but I make them down as well. And that is the worst of all situations. So it's a risky decision to make when I'm emo.

7. Chat with friends on instant messenger


Although I put this one as the last in the list, but it doesn't mean it's not important. In fact, I clicked on to this option like 90% of the time when I was emo. However, equally risky as the 6th option, chatting with friends on IM could lead to disastrous situation sometimes, too. You may just end up being hurt more or hurting yet another person because of your inconsiderate words or the other person's inconsiderate words.

You never know how sensitive you could be, or your friend could be at the moment. And not to mention you never know how busy/messy your friend's mind is at the moment. Though nevertheless, when it works, a few words from your friend could just happened to be your salvation of the day.


People are complicated animals, we could never really predict what we would get or what we wouldn't get. That is why the key to de-emo, I would advised, is to change the "mode" of your mind without having to rely on another person's reactions to help.

It is no doubt friends really help a lot, when they are capable of helping. Most of the time we can only self-help. And anyway, you may never know, maybe by doing more self-helping, you could then become a more independent and reliable person for others.

Emo could slow you down, make you stay. However we can always discover ways for ourselves to de-emo, to start running and to start moving on. You may never know, the good things in life might be already on their way to your doorstep!

From whom do we live

Hands trembling, she tried hard to stand up from her chair. Lines and lines of veins, became more clearly to be seen on her skinny arms as she slowly lifted herself up.

She got herself up and sat down beside the bed, where today papers spread messily on it. Her short curly hair did not move in the air-conditioned room, as she bent to find for the contact book on the table beside the bed.

"Here it is," she said, her once beautiful brown eyes glimmered, as she found the book.

It was Mooncake Festival in September when I last saw my grandmother. She has been older.


Looking at the old yellowed photo hanging on the wall, it was unimaginable, how time could have taken everything from us.

Her skinny arms was once round and firm; Her hair was once long and wavy; Her eyes were once full of energy.

She had spent almost her entire life bringing up her family and the families of her children. Wrinkles deepen each year.

I was never close to her - how I wish I could be, and I think some time younger I used to be scared of her. However as time flies by she has been older, so much older that she couldn't scold me or glare at me anymore, and I've been older too.

Old enough to see that I have not much time left to appreciate her.

After all, it is her life that was devoted to her children that brings me to life. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here.

Please take care of your parents and grandparents. If it wasn't for them, we wouldn't be here.

Before I end this post, here is a Thai insurance commercial that I would like to show you...... Although it's bad for a commercial, but it's touching enough for a story. :)